Vision Quest Blessings Part VI: The Hues of Compassion

I slept peacefully most of the second night. Just before I woke, I remembered having two dreams.

In my first dream, I was sitting on a grassy bank in a semi-urban area. It was enclosed on all four sides by a chain-link fence. On the other side of the fence in front of me was a body of water about the size of a small lake. The grassy bank sloped down towards the lake. I reclined comfortably on the downward slope, looking at the lake. I was the only person in this enclosed area, and I found it peaceful - even while people walked by on the path lining the fence behind me.

Suddenly an animal ran past me to my right in a direct line from the fence behind me and jumped into the water. Despite its speed, I was able to see that this was one of the strangest looking animals I have ever seen. It looked like a furry wild boar with an elephant trunk and tusks - or perhaps like a miniature woolly mammoth with a body the size of a javelina (medium-sized piggish-looking animal native to the desert southwest).

I was still contemplating what type of animal this was when I heard people's voices saying, "That's a Mountain Lion!", "Don't you know that's a Mountain Lion?", "A MOUNTAIN LION!"

I turned around, thinking these people didn't get a close look at the animal that just ran by me if they were calling it a Mountain Lion...I was startled to see a Mountain Lion standing on the fence, crouched in an 'alert' stance, as though she was summing up her surroundings and deciding what to do - pounce? defend? flee?

I felt some fear as I saw her crouched, looking directly at me with her neck-hair raised at attention. Then I immediately calmed myself and said to her, "Go on - go on, now. It's okay." I did not actually speak the words. I was communicating telepathically, mostly with my feelings of peace and friendship. She relaxed her neck, turned her head, and walked peacefully away. The people who were previously in a panic began walking peacefully again.

I believe I chose to address my fear of wild animals in my dream world. Mountain Lion was on of the animals I was hesitant to encounter on this journey. I am encouraged by this dream because it showed me that at the moment of recognition - in the moment of actual encounter - I am at peace with wild animals. Even more deeply, I connected with Mountain Lion in a way that allowed us to communicate and understand each other.

(Later, when I returned home from my vision quest, I learned that my dear friend Brenda, a strong, powerful, beautifully intuitive being, was wondering why I felt a fear of animals when she saw clearly that I have the ability in by being to communicate effectively with animals by shape-shifting. Brenda's revelation feels familiar to me. I have memories of shape-shifting in past lives. I also recall visions of soaring above the mountains as a Turkey Vulture. I am not ready in this life to physically jump off of a mountaintop and fly with the hawks, and I still enjoy continuing to explore my memory and imagination! Thank you, Brenda, for sharing your insight with me.)

My second dream, in its sheer simplicity, was even more pivotal and transformational. My Uncle Tim visited me and shared his observation with me: "You know, since your sister was born, you really started to resent people." That was it. That was the whole dream. It was direct and literal (which actually makes it a vision that I received in my dream world).

I woke up this morning, my third day of my vision quest, contemplating this message. As much as I want to deny resenting people, I am also compelled to explore it with complete honesty.

Do I resent others? Is this a current pattern? If so, I choose to see examples of it. Immediately I experience a few recent scenarios. Oh my - I have been resenting people! This is a huge vulnerable discovery and realization. I recognize that I resent a person when I judge them to be irresponsible or uncaring towards me or others. I have even judged and resented people before I met them! I have judged based on looks, on body language, possessions, and even on stories that I heard from other people. When I judge, I resent.

Whoa - I feel some major energy moving through me now. I am getting up to go sit on the big rock in the sun to connect more deeply with my Divine Self and with Nature. I send an apology to all those I have judged, including myself, and ask forgiveness. I forgive myself.

Sitting on my rock, bathed in the golden glow of the morning sun, I contemplate, "Resentment and love resonate at different frequencies, so when I resent someone, I am not loving them." I experience this recognition with a vision and a feeling. I see and feel etheric cobwebs coating my lung points, heart, and throat. They are a dark-gray color, and very sticky - like cartoon tar that sticks to me. The more I try to pull the sticky tar off, the more it stretches, then snaps stubbornly and rigidly back into place. The substance itself feels harmless; it is simply coating and covering parts of my Divine Light.

When I feel these webs, I feel shame. I feel shame for feeling resentment. These are the webs of resentment and shame that I have woven for myself, and quite skillfully! I wove them with strength and elasticity. They have stretched in ways that made them seem invisible and benign. Now I choose to unwind and release my webs. Now that I choose love, my webs of resentment and shame no longer serve me.

I now call on my guides who I most trust and am familiar with: Master Paul and Mother Mary: Paint my webs with the hues of compassion and True Love. Master St. Germain: Transmute and transform my shame into my Faith and my self-love.

I pray this blessing with the fullness of my heart and with the full strength of my being. I know my transformation is happening now. I feel a specific energy of excitement move through me - my excitement! I increase and deepen my breath to move all of my energy with grace and ease.

As I feel this transformation, I am watching the morning sunlight move across the rocks to kiss the top of the waterfall. I feel the illuminated waters cleansing and clearing my entire being. I continue to breathe and feel my feelings.

The sun broadens its reach, and a beautiful rainbow appears in the waterfall. The hues of compassion! Beautiful! I love nature! I feel so blessed and loved that I am crying tears of joy! I feel the colors of compassion paint my being, illuminating my soul.

Just as I feel my hues of compassion settling into my being, a butterfly gracefully floats by me. Butterfly represents true transformation! I am now simultaneously laughing and crying as I allow the full significance of my transformation - complete with validation from nature - to fully permeate my being.

I feel inside where my webs were. I expect them to be gone, but they are still here - and completely transformed! I now see and feel a translucent and rainbow-hued energy where the dark, thick webs were. My translucent rainbow energy moves and expands where my True Essence moves and expands. I feel clear and open, as though a dusty window I have been looking through has been immaculately cleaned and opened, allowing me to breathe fresh air and see clearly. I feel expansive and grounded, as though my energy can flow through and around our entire planet, touching all order of beings with love and grace - all while I am here now - fully present, aware, and anchored in my beautiful nature space.

Thank you Master Paul and Mother Mary! Thank you illumined sun, cleansing waters, and rainbow of compassion! Thank you Master St. Germain and transformational butterfly! Thank you for helping me reclaim my hues of compassion, True love, faith, and self-love!

After I experience this amazing transformation, I stand up on my rock and realize I have to use the bathroom. This may sound odd and out of place at this point in the story, so I choose to clarify and expand this idea. According to Chinese Medicine, resentment is stored in the gallbladder. I have been consciously healing my liver and gallbladder for a few years now, and have experience with gallbladder cleansing.

Our gallbladder releases bile that helps us digest fats. I always know when my gallbladder is releasing or re-balancing because my eliminations come out green. This is Universal. Green poo = a message from our gallbladder.

So here I am on day 3 of my vision quest and water fast. I have just experienced a huge transformation where I shifted from resentment to compassion, and my gallbladder is now releasing physically! If anyone has been looking for proof that emotions affect our physical health, here it is! This is the most excited I have ever been in my life about green poo!

I proceed to jump around and dance with the enthusiasm and energy of a little girl - with rainbow butterfly wings, of course!

Stay tuned for part VII: My Gift from The Water Spirits

Vision Quest Blessings Part V: Do You See What I See?

Estimated Reading Time: 9 Minutes

Brrr! It is really cold at night! As the morning dawns, I recognize that the large boulders and high walls of the canyon keep my circle well-shaded until about noon. That means my vision quest circle is cold in the mornings - Brrr! Laying snuggled in my sleeping bag, I notice a large rock just across the stream that is bathed in sunlight. I cross the stream and sit on the rock, filling myself with warm downloads from the sun. Ahhhhhh! Heavenly!

From here I see the canyon crevice that I climbed to reach this spot. I now recognize the scope of my accomplishment: I hiked and climbed all the way up here wearing a 40 pound backpack while water fasting. Wow! I celebrate my achievement and my life!

I am noticing how breezy it is today. More accurately, it is really windy - really! It's a good thing I'm not using a tent - that might just act as a large kite right now! I checked the forecast before I left home, and NOAA was forecasting average winds of 20 mph, with gusts up to 60 mph. I assure you their forecast is accurate where I am! It is also cold today. It is afternoon now and I am still wearing my long johns to keep warm! I am blessed to be surrounded by these beautiful boulders that help to block some of the gusts. Periodically when a particularly strong gust comes through, I curl up behind a big boulder. I feel safe, sheltered, and secure.

The sky is clear, and the sun is stunningly beautiful. The chill and strong winds combine with the steady warm glow of the sun to create both a powerful juxtaposition and a nurturing elemental partnership. Even though the wind is strong and the air is chilled, I am warmed by the light of the sun.

The sounds of the waterfall fill the air and permeate my being. This large rock where I sit is located in a perfect position to observe the waterfall. It also sits in a location where the sounds of the waterfall are amplified. As I notice this, the waterfall seems to grow even louder. I feel it's sound completely surrounding and engulfing me. This fall is about 15 feet tall. Its falling water smacks on flat rocks at its base. It is loud. I begin to feel irritated.

I recognize an opportunity to address my irritation with loud noises. In general, I have been uncomfortable with loud noised throughout my life. As I ponder my reaction to loud noises, I recall experiences of being at firework shows. I recall my fear of the loud explosions. Now that I explore this, I believe the first time I remember actually enjoying a fireworks display was when I witnessed one from a distance. With a clear view of the colorful lights and a healthy distance form the explosions, I finally appreciated the beauty of fireworks without fear.

When I journey back to my first experiences of fireworks shows, I feel myself rock back in fear. I feel myself bracing against the loud sounds. My throat, neck, and shoulders tighten. I trust in my ability to transmute this. I trust in my ability to allow vibrations and sounds to flow through me with grace and ease. I breathe. I allow the sounds of the fireworks - and the waterfall - to move gracefully through me. I release my resistance and unlock my barriers of fear. I embrace flexibility, safety, and peace.

These statements sound beautiful, and I still do not feel they are fully integrated into my Being. I choose to rest for a while to allow my complete integration of my experience. I move to my sleeping area and close my eyes...

"Kick up your shoes and dance!" This chorus in fully-synthesized Super Bowl half-time production quality wakes me from my peaceful rest. I laugh. A Lot! Where did this come from? If this is a test of how I now feel with sudden loud noises, I believe I have passed with flying colors! =-)

I get up and refill my water bottles. I am so blessed to drink right from the waterfall! I have a portable water filter pump with me (thank you, Dan!) that I use for my first step of water filtration. Then I add a drop of Thieves Essential Oil to each bottle to counteract any harmful microorganisms while also supporting and strengthening my immune system. I also add Polar Minerals for minerals and electrolytes. It works like a charm and tastes wonderful!

I move back to my circle. I am tired today, and grateful to be resting and stationary. As I am contemplating and resting, I pick up my water bottle. A moth flies in front of me and lands on the side of the bottle, reaches out with his (or her) tongue, and begins extracting something from the edge of my lid. I watch. Moths can do amazing things with their super-long, thin tongues. They basically have flexible crazy straws at their personal disposal at any given time! When the moth received what it was desiring, he rolled his tongue up into a perfect spiral, tucked it back in his mouth, and flew away. The beauty and perfection of the moth's spiral tongue held my attention. Nature is so amazing!

The day turns to evening. I climb into my sleeping bag and prepare for sleep. I notice the west flag again. This time, I begin to feel uncomfortable. I am feeling an emotion that I am challenged to identify.

Perhaps I can recognize how it sounds. I allow sounds to come from within me that embody the feeling. I allow audible vibrations to resonate with the feeling. A type of moaning results. Hmmm...it sounds like yearning. What am I yearning for? I yearn for clarity in many aspects of my life. I yearn for a clear voice and clear expression, as well as clear eyesight. As the concept of clear eyesight comes into my awareness, my emotions intensify - a clear indication that I am connecting with the root of my discomfort.

I choose to address my limiting beliefs around clear vision. As I explore this process, I write in my journal:

• My limiting belief: It is unreasonable to believe my eyesight will clear.
• Can I prove this is absolutely, undeniably true? No! Miracles happen every day - and to me, I affirm! I am ready to transmute this belief and receive a healing miracle.
• Where in my body do I feel this belief? As I ask myself this question, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and focus my attention on my body sensations. I am feeling tightness in my head - especially in my temporal region.
• When was the first time I believed this limiting belief? Again I close my eyes and take a few breaths. This time I allow my awareness to move to the first time in my life that I believed this. I recall 6th grade, when I required glasses to see the blackboard clearly. I wore glasses when I was younger, then did not require them for 5 or 6 years. Then in 6th grade my vision began blurring. I remember feeling disappointed about requiring glasses and contacts. I am feeling now what I felt then - disappointed, angry, hurt, betrayed, and ashamed; as though I did something wrong and corrective lenses are a punishment or consequence of my actions. These emotions are intense. I begin to cry. I am feeling now what I felt then, and I am realizing that I have been carrying these feelings with me since 6th grade. I allow myself to cry and to feel my feelings.
• Who am I without this belief? What is my life like? How do I feel? I recognize that I am not being punished. I forgive myself now and in 6th grade for judging myself as anything less than my true, Divine Being. I recognize that my eyes are communicating something to me and I invite myself to fully receive this gift. I feel more free. I feel more supported. I feel circuits rewiring (subtly) in my energy matrix to allow my eyesight to clear with grace and ease. I can have clear vision. I can enjoy clear vision.
  

In the process of clearing this limiting belief, another appears:

• For my eyesight to clear, I must choose between nature and work.
• Where is this coming from? I recognize that even though my vision is blurred, I am functioning very well during my vision quest. I am connecting with and navigating in nature clearly. I feel safe and cared for. I am experiencing a connection and feeling of safety here in nature that I experience differently when my corrective lenses are on - especially when I am at work or working on a task. It feels as though a tuning dial is turning and a signal is clearing.
• Is this belief that I must choose between nature and work absolutely true? Of course not!
• Where in my body do I feel this belief? My solar plexus and lower abdomen (2nd chakra area) feel tight and constricted.
• When was the first time I believed this limiting belief? I am back in 6th grade again. My family and I moved to a part of the country that had more challenging schools. I invested more time studying and doing homework, and less time outside playing. I feel myself moving toward the 'business' of my studies and school as my work. This may have also been when I became increasingly task-oriented.
• I send blessings and love to my 6th grade self. I surround myself in a golden sphere of peace, trust, confidence, and faith. I send me belief in miracles.
• Who am I without this limiting belief? I blend the beauty and joy of nature with my work. I recognize the playful nature of my work. I blend the energies of nature and work and witness the sacred expression and infinite potentials that result. Wow. I really feel that. I feel my solar plexus opening. I am breating more freely. My lower abdomen begins to relax and open.
• What does this belief upgrade to? "I see clearly in nature and at work!" I see clearly in nature and at work. I see clearly in nature and at work. I breathe. I feel my new sense of clarity. I see clearly in nature and at work. I repeat this many times. My body relaxes, I feel my chakras align, and I drift into peaceful sleep.
  

Note: I used two sets of tools to address my former limiting beliefs: Byron Katie's The Work, and Mastery Systems' Conscious Language. I find these tools highly effective for transforming limiting beliefs into their Divine Upgrades!

Stay tuned for Part VI: The Hues of Compassion

Read Part I: The Calling
Read Part II: The Preparation
Read Part III: Trust and Commit
Read Part IV: The Bear in The Waterfall